People On A Path Of Self Destruction

Last night my husband and I watched the Season Premiere of Jon & Kate Plus 8 and it left us feeling totally blue. We love watching the show normally and were excited to see it after all of the hype that had built up over the past weeks and months. But, seeing the family breaking up before our eyes seemed horribly wrong. So, if it's hard enough for me to watch this slow motion wreck of people I don't even know in real life, you can only imagine how I have been feeling watching people I do know who I feel are self destructing before my eyes.

Bottom line: I feel sad. I am surrounded by people who I believe are in emotional pain that is causing them to be self destructive. I love these people and yet no matter how much I care about them, I feel totally powerless to help them. I don't know what words to offer them or if words would be the wrong thing to use in the first place. I am accepting the fact that I can't stop their actions, and yet it pains me to see them spiraling out of control. Do I have a right to step in? Would I even know what to do? Do I have a responsibility to communicate my concerns with them? Would they even hear me? Do I necessarily "know better" than them?

For now, I am just laying low in my observation and reflection mode. I want to make sure that I am not being wrongly judgmental in my assessment of their choices. Even if I am acting with their best interest at heart, what gives me the authority to--as they would likely see it--criticize them? Then again, am I culpable in keeping silent? Unfortunately, this is not the first time I've been in this position and experience so far has taught me that my efforts are often for naught. Perhaps I need to better let go of people and let them live their own lives, even when I think that they are in pain and causing themselves more pain.

I do see that people only change when they want to change, and for some people, this never happens. It's a horrible cycle of people in pain causing themselves more pain because the pain they already have is too painful. I always wish I could throw a wrench in the cycle, but it's like they're on a downhill slope and there's no stopping them. All I can do, perhaps, is just get out of the way from getting run over.